When Can Men Date Again?

I’ve dated a lot of guys and feel like most of them go from relationship to relationship like nothing ever mattered to them. Did the relationship mean nothing? Were they sad? Hurt? Or are they just covering up their hurt by showing off their new girlfriend? Men, I’ve come to figure if you go straight from one relationship to another with no reflection time in between you are almost guaranteeing the new relationship will be doomed.

Think I am wrong? Look at everyone you know who seems to constantly be in and out of relationships and then look at those who make them work for a long time. What is the difference? The second group takes the time to figure out what went wrong on both sides and doesn’t repeat the same mistakes with the new person.

dating again

You might wonder what the heck I know or why you should continue reading this article. Well I learned this the best way possible; I sat back and watched all my exes do it the wrong way too many times. They hurt themselves, and the women they were involved with because they just weren’t ready for a new relationship because they were still dealing with the last one. Ok, I’ve made some mistakes too, but you must repeat repeat: “I must process the loss before I try again and there is no emotional laxative to move this along faster.”

How long you ask? Well I’ve been told that according to the book “Dating Rules for Men” (DT) at least 6 months. I think it’s wrong because they are just numbers and don’t take into account the emotional, spritual, physical connection, the length of the relationship and how it ended. So for shits and giggles, I made my own formula.

The first component is time of the relationship, which I will call T and it will be in units of months (M). Second is sex (S), how often (Qn), and how good was it (Qual). That will be expressed by (S x Qn) x Qual. If you have met each others family that has to be figured, so we will count the number of times (X) and if holidays (H) are included that bumps it up big time. So (F x X) + (H x X)2. The last item is if you were or are seeing a therapist (Shri) and how often (V).

((T x M) + ((S x Qn) x Qual) + ((F x X) + (H x X)2) ) / (Shri x V) = number of months before you should enter a new relationship

Ok I don’t really know if this works so someone please try it out and let me know. I’m going to stop here because I am just trying to make my point. Clear your head and your heart before starting up with someone new. Sure you can date but keep it very casual and if you feel yourself getting emotionally involved before you hit the number you calculated above my suggestion is to back off or you could end up right back where you started from and have to do the time and reflection all over again.

My New Girlfriend Has a Loose and Easy Sexual History and It’s Making Me Very Uncomfortable

I recently got into a relationship with an older more experienced woman. I am 24 and she is 28 divorced with two kids, both different fathers and neither by her ex-husband. Her past bothers me because right up until she met me she was sleeping with multiple partners. I found this out just by asking her. She would claim them as being “friends.” Now every time I she refers to someone as “a friend” I automatically assume the worst and I’ve been right 80% of the time.
One of these so-called “friends” plays with me on our pool team. He was just having sex with her and nothing more (is this right)? I feel very uncomfortable being there, as well as being around people she had sex with just for the heck of it.

She gets upset and reassures me, tells me not to worry and that she loves me. I’m just having trouble believing her! She has done and said so many things with such content, I don’t want to ruin my love for her but at the same time she should know that emotionally it hurts my feelings. Thank you.

Signed,
David S.

Dear David,

Flatly, she is not the woman for you. Why are you trying to force yourself to modify your desires in regards to the quality of the woman you affiliate yourself with? Why are you trying to compromise your morals and align them with the morals and values of your partner when they are so vastly different? If you don’t live your own life in such a manner and having sex with someone really MEANS something to you, then you have every right to expect a partner that has similar sexual values. But a double standard here would make you a hypocrite, and I truly hope that isn’t the case.

Dating a single parent isn’t in itself a bad thing. There are many women (and men) parenting children from broken marriages, or that had relationships when younger that resulted in a pregnancy. But responsible single parents don’t make it a habit to have multiple sexual partners in their homes all over their children! It confuses children and when we care about our children’s emotional and mental state as much or more than we care about our sex lives, we take these things into consideration and make choices accordingly.

All in all I would say that she is obviously not a virtuous “lady” which is what you deeply desire in your heart. You don’t really want a woman that is a “round the way” girl or that has sport sex. So why continue wasting your time with this scallywag “baby momma” and her associated drama?

Tell her its not going to work and then go find a young woman of class and morals that is at the same stage of life as you are. I think you will find such a relationship much less confusing and a lot more satisfying.

Worst Places to Meet a Guy

There are good times and bad times for meeting people. Obviously, you do not want to meet a guy first thing in the morning when you are groggy and still asleep. And after work when you’re caught in rush hour traffic and all you want to do is go home and freshen up, that’s not the ideal time to meet someone either. I have composed a list of the worst places to meet a guy, and want to know the sad thing? There are women that go to these places because they think they’ll meet someone! I have even spoken to guy friends about these places, and they have all confessed that women are the last thing on their mind at certain times! Read on to find out more.

dating advice

6) Dating apps and services – Not the best place to meet for something serious as most of apps are very superficial and promote “quick” option. If you are looking for something serious it’ll take a lot of time to go through all the “dirt” of online dating. One of the online dating alternative that many people tried is phone dating services with free chat line numbers. Phone chat gives a better chance to connect to people on a deeper level as you can hear people’s voice.

5) The Gym – Everyone thinks this is the best place to meet someone, and at first thought, you can’t blame them for thinking so. Sweaty bodies in a tight room together, all in motion? Sounds like an orgy! But everyone at the gym comes in, isolates themself on a particular machine, has their ipod on, and shuts themself away from the rest of the world. Gyms can be extremely intimidating places, and do you really want to go up to a guy who is doing his reps with a 200-lb weight and trainer? You’d feel as if you were intruding, and he probably feels the same way. In addition, everyone usually comes to the gym with a specific mindset-the girl on the stairmaster is focusing on her flabby thighs and how she needs to lose ten pounds. People don’t exactly feel glamorous at the gym and would rather not be bothered.

4) The Fire Station – Twelve hot firemen, sitting around waiting for a call? Sounds like heaven…not. Firemen have many other tasks to perform in between calls. There’s maintenance on the engines, upkeep, paperwork to fill out; they are on duty every minute until they are off the clock. A fireman’s first duty is his job-women come last. And you must remember, they already have a fan club. You will just be another member.

3) The Bar/Night Club – So many reasons why this doesn’t work. Let’s see, it’s dark, there are large amounts of alcohol (and often other substances) involved, you can barely hear yourself talk, and the guys that come to these types of places are usually looking for the most scantily clad girl in the room. The worst is when a guy is drunk and keeps getting your name wrong. And they always look more attractive under the strobe lights…

2) The Surf – I know so many girls who invest in surfboards and paddle out in their cutest bikinis, hoping to meet some surfer boys. And they always wonder why they never do. Let’s just say that when guys are doing certain things like playing a sport or doing something that requires their entire focus, they can’t jeopardize themselves. They need to give a hundred percent in order to get the best results. And we all know how upset guys get when they don’t give a good performance. And chances are, they are surfing to get away from certain problems, which includes girls.

1) When he’s working and you’re not – You’re stopping by his work-maybe he’s the manager of a shop, and you’re the customer. He sees you, but he’s preoccupied and doesn’t really have the time to talk to you. The worst is if his boss is right there-he risks getting into trouble for socializing on the job. You on the other hand, wonder what is wrong with him for not talking to you. Now you know.

The Best Dating Advice for a Healthy Relationship

Nowadays, dating has become easier and better due to technology since you can meet people online. The best thing about technology is that it offers you a variety of choices to choose from before picking the person you want to start dating. However, at times we tend to push away people who might be good matches for us because we don’t have an immediate liking for them. We tend to assume that there’s still someone better out there for us, so we keep searching just to end up with the wrong match. If only we took the time to focus on the relationship in front of us, then we wouldn’t waste time in search of what we are not sure of.

Before the onset of technology, starting a relationship was difficult since most people lack the confidence to approach strangers. However, technology has made dating simpler for individuals who aren’t good at interacting with other people face to face, and the primary form of communication is often texting. Although we might communicate on a daily basis with dates we’ve met online, there’s still a lot of catching up to do when you meet physically since the relationship is virtual.

dating advice online

Here five tips for successful dating in this digital era:

Avoid texting

When building a new relationship, avoid communicating through text. Always communicate through calls and only use texting as a last resort. Therefore, you should agree with your partner on the circumstances when you can use texting.

Stop searching

Once you’ve found the right companion and you are certain you want to start dating them, you should stop searching the online dating world and spend more time getting to know them. It’s important that you give each person you date your full attention so that the relationship can build a healthy relationship.

Keep off your phone

When on a date, refrain from using your phone or placing it on the table. Instead, pay attention to your new date and actively contribute to the conversation so that the date can be successful.

Keep off your dating profile

While on a date avoid the habit of checking your dating profile, it might send the impression that you have not yet decided whether you want to date the person you are with on the date.

Contemplate

Take time to contemplate what you want. The worst mistake you can make is getting into a relationship when you are not sure it’s what you really want. Once you’ve made a choice, you’ll be willing to do whatever it takes to make it work. Additionally, you should know that relationships will always have differences and challenges, and your reaction will determine the direction it takes.

The Proper Way To Meet People

When you are shy, it is something of a burden for you that remain with you throughout your whole life. There are a lot of people that have outgoing personalities that you might find alien to you. When it comes to meeting new people, dealing with better relationships, you might find yourself looking at a frightening situation in front of you. However, if the same situation is done with people that you can trust and know, then everything seems to be fine. People who suffer from shyness find themselves intimidated very easily. They think that they might not be able to come across any clever things to see in a conversation. Since most of the people happen to be shy and introverted, they would have to increase or better adapt their strategies in order to meet new people.

  1. The first thing that needs to be done is to start doing the activities that most of the people would find interesting in you. If you seem to find yourself interested on a particular hobby or habit on a regular basis, you would obviously, across people doing so. That way, you will be able to somewhat get into an approachable environment, letting people come to you in order to inquire about the things you are doing. Sometimes, when you find yourself alone in your house, get out; go to a recreational center or even a library. If you want to take care of your body, then visit the gymnasium. Going to any of these places definitely enhances the chance for you to meet people.
  2. Volunteering is another way for you to do a whole lot of good to the world while at the same time gets rid of your shyness. There is always a need from one institution or the other for any kind of volunteers, and it becomes your chance to enjoy meeting people, and doing something good for the society. So, the best thing that you can do is to find a local charity Centre and get yourself involved with it. It is not always possible for you to meet people that may be of a particular age, but you can definitely meet a few people that can help you to make new friends along the way.
  3. Always try and work on your confidence and get it elevated. Of course, there are various things in life that maybe sensitive to you, and which may be hurting the confidence that you have. So, you need to work on these things in order to make it seem like it is the best solution for you at any given moment.
  4. Always try and make use of the Internet for a positive advantage. There are different kinds of activities that you will be able to do in your local area, mostly in places that may seem to be extremely small. So, you have got to find yourself looking at enjoyable things and extracting the maximum benefit out of it.

How To Be More Confident When Meeting New People

The chances for you to increase your circle of friends is only when you take the initiative to do so. There may be that special person that you might not have met in your life, particularly when you keep yourself enclosed in a very small place within yourself. It may not be possible for you to meet people everywhere, so it is important for you to capitalize on the places where you do.

Most of the people meet people online. There is a great selection of hobbyists, groups of people that would like to organize certain activities and help you to meet up with each other. You can also find yourself to be a part of those clubs, and find yourself as a member of those hobbies. However, in order for you to not be awkward, you need to do your due diligence when meeting for such specialized groups. Try and learn a few things from the Internet about that group, understand the focal point of the group and try and put something of yours into the group in order to enrich it. It is only then that people would think of you as a contributing member, who would otherwise increase in the hierarchy within the group and help you become one of them.

When you are travelling around the world, you want to meet a lot of new people with new cultures, new identities and a different sense of thought and action other from yours. They might be vastly different from the cultural heritage that you might be looking at. Of course, this gives you a chance for you to look at new people, understand their culture and get to know about the wonderful things that they would be more than willing to share with you. Overall, it leaves you with a wonderful chance to meet new people, break old stereotypes and ensure that you enjoy everything that is at your disposal. However, the only way for you to not be awkward is to understand that there are certain things that may not go down with your sensibility. However, you need to be mindful of the local culture and heritage and go accordingly.

If you are seeking some kind of online friend group, then there are various matchmaking website as well as dating websites that enable you to get that done. However, that will also be awkward for people that do not have a sense of understanding and purpose on using such websites. Do not use those places in order to solicit for sexual activity, as you would be perceived as a pervert. Rather, you need to make use of it diligently, understand the basic essences of using the services and work accordingly to make yourself a valuable part of that online interaction. Awkwardness can be easily taken care of if you are free with your words, as well as have a genuine action behind everything that you say.